Tikkabik

So last night I went to a "safety task force" meeting at my daughter's elementary school -- a group that had been formed in the wake of the recent incident of threatened violence at the hands of a fifth grader. About 30 parents showed up, compared to 120 or so who arrived at the first meeting to discuss the school's handling of the situation.

After an entirely too long and all together unproductive PowerPoint preso given by the school's principal discussing the dangers of bullying (and all-too-briefly suggesting what to do about it), we broke off into four groups, each tasked with discussing the same three bullet-point questions: How should the student handbook be updated to reflect student behavior? How should school security be improved? And how should parents and teachers try to teach kids to behave better?

From where I was sitting, it was the wrong three questions -- I think a more productive use of our time would have been to examine the root cause of so much mistrust from the parents: The school's lack of communication when significant incidents occur.

In any case, we learned before we broke off into groups that the school has revised how it handles cases where students threaten violence on each other: Each and every case is referred to the school's "resource officer" -- the police officer assigned to the school; referred to the principal; and communicated to the parents of the alleged bully and victim. That seems like a reasonable response, and it's good that that's the case, but it's a shame that it took such an ugly episode for them to have a plan in place that should have been there from the start.

Back to the issues at hand, many of us suggested that it would be helpful if the student handbook did a better job of spelling out what behaviors are unacceptable and what the consequences are. Many other schools group behaviors such as bullying, fighting or vandalism, weapons carrying and drug use into separate categories and assign them blanket sets of consequences, such as days of suspension or police/fire department involvement.

This seems to me to be a pretty regressive and reactive way to deal with the problem, but it's better than what we have now, which is a policy that basically says, "if kids misbehave, it's up to the school to decide how to deal with them." That, frankly, gives the Mashpee school administration way too much leeway in how they will handle those cases, and it's stuff like that which led to this incident in the first place.

The issue of security is a total red herring. We're there because a kid threatened to kill his classmates, and we ended up spending a fair amount of time talking about how to keep child molesters out of the school. While I agree that's important, the solution is also pretty common sense: Leave all common doors to the building locked from the outside, and post a gatekeeper -- either a receptionist or a security guard -- at the front door to verify the identity of anyone entering the building.

That'll do nothing to make the kids in the classrooms feel safer if their classmates are point their fingers at them threatening to kill them one by one, but at the very least it'll make the building a bit more secure, without requiring massive capital improvements. Some of the parents were coming up with totally unrealistic, pie-in-the-sky ideas involving closed circuit surveillance and ID checks and barcode scanning of drivers' licenses. This is an elementary school in an exurb of Boston, for goodness' sake, not a maximum security prison or a bank vault.

As far as how to help the kids become better people, the PBIS program the school is working with seems like a step in the right direction. I suggested that the PBIS goals be written into the core curriculum, so teachers end up trying to help kids develop empathy skills as they're learning English, social studies, art, whatever is appropriate.

I also recommended that kids be rewarded for being good to each other -- which elicited a snide response from another parent sitting at my table that "kids shouldn't get chocolates from the teach-ah fo-ah doin' their math homework right." Which was, obviously, entirely beside the point.

Finally, we suggested that the parents be pulled into the PBIS training process itself; that the school have nights where parents can come in to learn more about the program and how to implement positive behavior reinforcement in their home life, so there's a continuity of experience for their kids that extends to both home and school.

Anyway, that's it in a nutshell. Clearly my problem isn't just with the administration at the school, but with some of the other parents, mouth breathing morons that they are.

But what else is new?

Posted by flargh at 02:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Hard to believe, but things are ramping up for Macworld Expo in San Francisco again. Today I made my travel plans and yesterday we at the magazine had our first planning conference for it.

If you're going to be in SF and you'd like to meet (either socially or professionally), just drop me a line so we can set it up.

Posted by flargh at 05:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

It amazes me how much paper we burn through every year. I buy two or three full boxes of copy paper from Staples every year. Most of it is copying content that's been scanned, for the benefit of outside personnel like therapists and doctors. Much of it is for our own benefit, though: coloring pages for the kids, printouts of particularly interesting or relevant news articles, and so on.

Anyway, long ago we recognized the economic value in having a laser printer in the house -- owning an inkjet is fine for the occasional color picture, but when it comes to any sort of substantial volume, there's no substitute for a laser. And thanks to the charity of others, I've been able to secure two, both made by HP. One is a LaserJet 5mp that we've had for nigh on a decade now -- a personal laser printer that I've networked thanks to a handy box called the AsanteTalk, from Asante, and the other is a more recent acquisition: a LaserJet 4050n.

From the moment it arrived the 4050n became our workhorse printer, at a time when the 5mp's cartridge was running out of toner (and at more than $70 a pop, I wasn't anxious to replace it). And it's held up well since we got it, about a year ago, I guess.

But recently it's begun jamming, quite frequently, and making noise. This sick bleating -- a repetitive HNORK HNORK HNORK noise -- that occurs whenever it's feeding paper from the bottom tray. And the jamming happens regardless of whether the paper feeds from the bottom tray or the manual feed.

It isn't exactly easy to find an HP-authorized repair shop on the Cape, but the local no-name PC computer retailer in town said he services HP laser printers all the time and has offered to have a look at it for a reasonable bench fee, so I plan to drop it off soon.

But removing the 4050n from service would reduce our printing capability to inkjet-only at a time when Bonnie needs to produce multiple copies of the kids' medical and academic records for various professionals involved in their care, so it happens at an inopportune time when we really can't afford not to print, or at least not to print cheaply.

And that meant returning the trusty old 5mp to service. Which I did today, after a trip to Staples to get a new toner cartridge. After realizing that the AsanteTalk router had been disconnected from the 10/100baseT hub I keep in the office for such occasions, the 5mp returned to service and soon started quietly and efficiently outputting Bonnie's desired prints.

I have to hand it to HP -- their SOHO office and workgroup equipment is really bulletproof. I'm sorry to see the 4050n need some work, but we got it second-hand, for free, with no expectation of its serviceability, so I'm delighted it works at all and don't mind putting in a little money to see it keep working. And in the interim, I'm just thrilled that, for once, my lack of desire to discard my old electronic gear has been a help instead of a hindrance.

Posted by flargh at 04:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Lately Linden Labs has been getting a lot of press over Second Life, its virtual online world. It's not exactly a game, and definitely not an online RPG, but it's fired up the imagination of a lot of people, it seems -- partly because of some well-publicized examples of how Second Life has been used by politicians and others to raise awareness of their efforts, partly because of Second Life entrepreneurs that have gotten rich by crafting goods in-game they've sold to other players, and partly because of just how open-ended the whole experience is.

The idea is that you stake a claim to some virtual real estate in Second Life and figure out how to be a good citizen -- whether that's being an artisan who makes and sells things, a specialist in construction, transportation, or just a consumer of others' goods and services, playing games they create, wearing clothes you buy in virtual clothing stores and more.

I've known about Second Life since the early days, and I admit that it's intriguing, but it's never really caught my fancy. Part of it is because I've found the interface wonky and complicated. Partly because I'm so consumed by my "real" life that the idea of having an alternate "virtual" life really doesn't appeal to me that much. There are other reasons, too, but those are the major ones.

So what am I missing? Why is Second Life suddenly capturing the zeitgeist of 2006? I just don't get it.

Posted by flargh at 10:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

We received several comments on how good-looking Robert is. And he is -- he luxuriously long blond hair, he's slender and fair. His two female cousins are smitten with him, and his uncle and aunt both complimented his good looks.

"In a few years, he'll have a long line of girlfriends," said Uncle Eddy.

Of course, that's presuming Robert has anything to do with it. Left to his own devices, I'm not so sure.

Last week a trip to the opthalmologist revealed that Robert is nearsighted and will likely need eyeglasses sometime in the next year. And today his dentist referred him to an orthodontist for an overbite correction.

So -- glasses and braces. And, of course, his obsession with video games and his burgeoning interest in D&D.

Yeah, I'm sure he'll be a chick magnet!

Posted by flargh at 08:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Christmas lights on trees is a tradition that dates back to 17th century Germany -- first with melted candles put on branches of the tannenbaum. As usual, with any tradition that lasts hundreds of years, it's evolved over time, and now it's fairly common -- even in warm weather climates like Southern Florida and Southern California -- to see outdoor trees strung with lights.

Sometimes tree lights are tastefully done, sometimes they're garishly done, and sometimes they're done just downright wrong.

For example, I have never understood people who string lights on deciduous trees. Why? The whole idea is to celebrate the evergreen beauty of the mighty fir tree. Deciduous trees are dead this time of year.

Bonnie and I have developed a description of the lights often strung on these trees in a globular fashion, orbiting the outside perimeter of the foliage -- giant amoebas.

The weirdest variations on these are floating amoebas that have another string of lights wrapped around the trunk of the tree. Especially when the homeowner gets fancy and decided to install the flashing fuse as well. Then you've got this giant amoeba that looks like it's extended a pseudopod to the ground and is sucking energy from the Earth. It's like something out of a B-grade horror movie.

The other weird Christmas decoration is the string of lights wrapped tightly around the trunk and branches of a deciduous tree, because more often than not this ends up looking like some gargantuan demonic claw bursting forth from the ground, ready to wreak havoc on an unsuspecting populace.

These are the thoughts that haunt me this time of year.

Posted by flargh at 05:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I'm no great fan of Inside Edition, that tabloid news show hosted by Deborah Norville, but the local broadcaster shows it right after the local and national news, so I usually have it on in the background as I'm making or serving dinner.

They did a piece on "shopping rage" right before Thanksgiving, and talked about how normally mild-mannered people can be driven to psychopathy by the large crowds, long lines, crowded parking lots and anti-social behavior of people who are doing their holiday shopping. They interviewed some experts about it and offered suggestions for how people could safely avoid shopping rage.

Norville delivered the coup de grace after the piece was over, though, and it's one of the more sensible pieces of advice I've heard this year: Avoid shopping rage by shopping online.

Posted by flargh at 09:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I'm really disappointed (along with, near as I can tell, hundreds, if not thousands of others) who logged into Amazon.com to take advantage of their new "Customers Vote" promotion. The idea is that the company puts forth four items to buy at ridiculously low prices, and whatever customers vote on is the chosen item for that week. The quantities are very limited, so customers are encouraged to log in precisely at 11AM Pacific Time (2PM Eastern) to get the deal.

This week, the inaugural week, was an outrageously good deal -- an Xbox 360 Core System (valued at $299) for $100. There were supposedly 1,000 units up for grabs.

Now, realistically, I didn't expect that I had a snowball's chance in hell of getting it, but that didn't stop me from trying. I brought my laptop with me to my in-laws' place (I hooked up wireless access for them when my sister-in-law bought her laptop this past year), and tried like hell at 2PM Eastern to get in to Amazon.com to get it.

Of course, I didn't. Their servers were totally, totally overloaded. I couldn't even get the page to refresh -- after ten minutes of trying with different browsers, I finally gave up, because I knew my chance to get the Xbox 360 had come and gone.

Well, judging from the comments of the people who joined me on my quest today, clearly my experience was consistent with the normal. What's worse, it appears that some people were able somehow to trick the system into letting them order the boxes well before the appointed time.

I really don't know what the full story is. What I do know is that it's left a sour taste in my mouth with a retailer that I've done a fair amount of business with in the past.

I really hope that Amazon.com learns from this and institutes a fairer policy in the future. What I'd like to see happen is a lottery system, whereby everyone that votes gets a chance to win -- 1,000 winners could be selected randomly, and would have x minutes or x hours to buy the product they voted on. Then, if they didn't respond in time, or if they declined to buy, another "winner" could be chosen.

But as it stands now, what Amazon.com did today amounted to little more than an online version of the rush to the door that some Wal-Marts and other retailers did last week when their PlayStation 3's came in, and that, as we all know, incites a mob mentality and really brings out the worst in people. It's just yet another shopping hassle that contributes to making this time of year bloody unpleasant.

Posted by flargh at 08:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

James sees a group of men marching in kilts. "Those guys forgot to put on pants."

"They're kilts," said I.

"Someone died?"

"Kilts. Not killed."

"Ohhh. So. They forgot to put on pants?"

Posted by flargh at 11:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Something we've known about for quite some time now is the PlayStation Portable's forthcoming ability to play games originally made for the first PlayStation -- now the details on how it's going to work are coming to light, and it's pissing me off, my friends. Why? Because you need to use the PlayStation 3 as the conduit to get the games.

So unless you're an early adopter that camped out for a week in front of a Wal-Mart and was willing to elbow and jostle your way in, or unless you're one of these fucking crazy lunatics bidding $2,500 on eBay, you're shit-out-of-luck when it comes to downloading PSOne content onto your PSP, at least until one of three things happens: A) Sony's availability of PS3s improves, dramatically; B) Early adoption is over and the price on the damn things comes down from the stratosphere or C) Sony gets its head out of its corporate ass and cuts the PS3 out of the equation.

Sony is a company that many consumers absolutely love to hate, and with good reason. They're basically the consumer electronics version of Apple -- not Apple in 2006, but Apple in 1996. The Bad Old Days. The overly proprietary, stupid, slow-to-react-to-market-trends, deserves-to-go-out-of-business Apple.

I've had a PSP since day one of availability in North America, and I've seen Sony fuck up time after time after time with this cool-ass game system: First by licensing the publication of a variety of games that weren't substantially different than their console counterparts; then by pricing UMDs more than DVD movies, essentially pushing the entire PSP-using public into ripping movies and transferring them onto Memory Stick Pro Duo cards instead (in violation of the DMCA, I might add), making promises about Mac software and not delivering, and, as exemplified in this latest debacle, making it as tough and useless to use as they can.

Obviously Microsoft is taking a page from Sony's playbook with the accursed Zune, that shit-brown iPod competitor that isn't compatible with the music services MS has been throwing its weight behind for the past couple of years. At least the PSP works with the PS3 right out of the box (presuming you update the firmware to the newest release).

Sorry if I sound angry, but I really love the PSP and I'd love to see it succeed, but Sony seems intent on doing absolutely everything it can to make it something that no one wants to own.

Posted by flargh at 04:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Seriously, they're one of my all time favorite bands. But their continuing bits for Dunkin' Donuts' "America Runs On Dunkin'" ad campaign just slay me. I saw this for the first time on TV last night and laughed my butt off.

Posted by flargh at 11:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sorry to channel Ebenezer Scrooge and be a total buzzkill, but bah, humbug. I really hate this time of year with a passion that builds each time it comes around.

My contempt for the season is never stronger than it is on Black Friday, that day after Thanksgiving when it seems that the entire population of the United States loses its collective mind and goes on an orgy of money-spending that goes unrivaled the rest of the year. It's as if we need a debt enema to clear ourselves of all the cholesterol we consume the day before.

I've been pummelled with advertisements for Black Friday sales for a couple of weeks now, and all of them tell me the same thing: Stay the hell away from any shopping mall or plaza on Friday -- in fact, just stay home and enjoy your day off. Which is exactly what I plan to do, especially since we'll have a fair amount of driving to do the following day (one of Bonnie's cousins is getting married up near Boston.

Looking at the goods that are being offered on Black Friday, it's readily apparent to anyone who has two brain cells to rub together that it's not about "giving," it's about ablating guilt over self-indulgence, particularly in high-priced items like plasma TVs, laptop computers, cars and so on. Outside of the occasional parent who might buy their kid a new Inspiron or MacBook for school, is anyone buying these things actually buying them for someone else?

There is, of course, the obligatory message that if you really love your spouse or significant other, you'll sacrifice several months' worth of income in order to buy her a precious stone worthy of her admiration. I'm reminded of Ron White's routine about the message that "diamonds take her breath away" -- what they're really saying is "get her a diamond and shut her up."

Perhaps most obnoxious are the specials that some companies are running -- Comp USA, for example, said that it's going to pre-empt Black Friday sales by offering specials on Thanksgiving Day itself, from 9PM to midnight, including a $199 PC laptop if you buy a new cell phone with two year service plan. Or the "deals" you can only get if you show up at some retailers between 5 and 7 AM on Friday morning. 5AM, for Chrissakes.

Of course, Friday night's news will feature footage of vacant-eyed shoppers squealing with porcine glee as they rush the doors at Target and Wal-Mart on Friday morning to spend, spend, spend.

Eat, little piggies, eat. The more you eat the tastier ham and bacon you'll make when it comes time to carve you up.

'Tis the season.

Posted by flargh at 08:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I'm getting really sick and tired of the circular arguments I see in some circles about what defines a "hardcore" gamer. I've actually been sick and tired of it for years, but whenever the subject comes up I get pissed off. Because it's meaningless -- it's a bit of the same self-righteous snobbery that surrounds music enthusiasts and wine connoisseurs, and have no patience for those self-aggrandizing pricks, either.

To listen to gamers speak, you either are or you aren't, and that's all that's important, and God, does it rub my rhubarb.

Did you shell out $600 for a new PlayStation 3 and have to wait in line for 80 hours, camped outside of a Wal-Mart? You must be hardcore! Did you play Quake 4 all the way to the end on the Super Extreme Tough Hellfire level? You must be hardcore! Do you pwnz0r all n00bs with your leet skillz when you deathmatch them online? You must be HARD-FUCKING-CORE.

Being a "hardcore" gamer is a bit like being having parents who are first cousins. Acknowledge it if you must or if, heaven forfend, you are required to do so for some reason, but for Chrissakes, don't brag about it, because it's something that's likely to bring shame upon your house.

Posted by flargh at 04:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The last of the Frickin' Van


Originally uploaded by flargh.

Goodbye, van. Not sorry to see you leave, but thanks for your service.

Posted by flargh at 03:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Picked up our Nintendo Wii yesterday and set it up; after a snafu involving the WiFi router we've been having loads of fun.

If you also have a Wii and you'd like to chat, the number is 6544 1999 4075 9305.

Posted by flargh at 09:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Well, my previous comments about the lack of communication from the Mashpee schools seem to be setting in, because we *did* receive a memo from the Superintendent outlining what the school was doing in the wake of the recent incident involving a fifth grader's death threats against his classmates.

The four pages are mostly fluff; two of the pages we'd already gotten during that meeting of school parents a couple of weeks ago, and some bullet points on what corrective actions they're taking.

Here's the thing that bugs me: The memo was dated Nov. 8th. It didn't arrive home with my kid until yesterday. That's almost a week and a half. Why did it take so long?

Posted by flargh at 11:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

It's not even Thanksgiving but James, Emme and Robert can all smell Christmas in the air. I wonder what gives it away? Is it the incessant holiday advertising on TV? The red bow-laden balsam wreaths that grace the fronts of stores? Or the depressed glower of their father as he contemplates suicide?

They're making their lists and checking them twice. The other night Emme was positively obsessing about printing out her list, which she's written on the Mac (of course), to the point where she was crying when I told her not to, at least not yet. It took me about 15 minutes to talk her in off the ledge by explaining to her (several times) that there was no need to print it out yet, as her mother and I had no intention of buying Christmas gifts yet, and we already had a general idea what she wanted.

James is setting his sights high this year.

He sat next to me on the sofa last night as I was plugging away with some late work on my PowerBook G4.

"Daddy, I've decided I want my own computer," he told me. He's tired of sharing with his brother and sister, since they each have their own computers and they tend to hog them.

"I want a yaptop," he said. At six, he's still having trouble making hard "L" and "R" sounds.

"OK," said I. "But I don't really think we can afford to get you a laptop this year."

"I'll ask Santa to bring me a yaptop then," he said, decisively.

"I'm not sure, honey, but I don't think Santa's elves make laptops," said I.

"Yes, they do," he said with firm resolution.

Ah, Christmas. That time of year when the young and innocent have an unwavering faith in magic.

Posted by flargh at 03:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

A surprisingly smooth IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meeting at Robert's school today -- we just got back a little while ago. The long and short of it is that he'll stay put the Baird Center for this year, and I'm very grateful for that. He's still got a lot of work to do to develop coping strategies and peer relationships.

Met the new Asst. Director of Special Ed. for Mashpee today -- Carla Thomas. I wanted to dislike her just as a knee-jerk reaction to all the shit we've had to put up with over the years, but I have to say that she impressed me: She's quiet, she says the right things, and she seems conciliatory and anxious to facilitate what she can.

We had a frank discussion after the meeting and Bonnie and I let her know that we had no ill will towards her, but years of problems with Mashpee schools gave us a lot of ammo to work with. She made it clear that she just wants to have a good working relationship with us. I don't trust her, yet, but she made a really good first step today. That's the best sign we've had in quite some time.

Also, the first meeting of what I hope will become the Mashpee special ed parent's advocacy council (SEPAC) is scheduled to happen tonight. I'm going, along with Bonnie. Should be interesting.

Posted by flargh at 01:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I just realized I've been pretty remiss in my followup on what happened in Mashpee a few weeks ago -- specifically, a murder threat made by an elementary school student that went unreported either to parents or to the police until the media got a hold of the news.

Shortly after I sent this letter to the local newspapers and TV studios the principal and superintendent had a meeting with concerned parents at the Quashnet school to discuss the incident.

The main focus of the meeting was on forming a "Safety Task Force" with parents to discuss the school's stated safety policy in the student handbook, and to figure out how that needs to be revised.

A few parents, including me, stood and and explained that the "safety policy" wasn't what bothered us nearly as much as the lack of communication, but I'm afraid we were drowned out by the shrill cacophony of hysterical parents who want a "zero tolerance" policy in place without fully understanding what that is and how it affects the environment our children are trying to learn in.

Supt. Bradshaw and Mr. Dees both threw out pablum like, "Maybe we need to lock the front doors while school is in session," despite the fact that this doesn't at all address either the event that occurred or how it was handled. One parent suggested that she wanted to see the police roaming the hallways of the school and she wanted to throw the book at any kid who stepped out of line.

Fortunately the town police chief, Rod Collins, stood up at that point and told the throng that he didn't want teachers to be cops and he didn't want his cops to be teachers, either. Thank God, the voice of reason.

Sadly, there was very little else heard from reason that night.

For what it's worth, the Enterprise did pick up my letter to the editor, which I was happy to see. I've heard nothing from anyone else, though, so I presume the rest of them just figured it was pointless ranting. *sigh.*

Posted by flargh at 01:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I think I'm finally consigned to living in a cold weather climate indefinitely, because I've invested in a new snowblower. We bought one on sale at Sears on Monday night (Mom picked it up because Bonnie and I were otherwise indisposed, and she has a pickup truck), and I put it together shortly after getting off the truck (boy, it's big).

It's quite a nice model -- 5.5 horsepower, 24-inch wide scoop with a 21-inch rise, electric start, five forward speeds and two reverse speeds. Sears was having a sale and we got 10 percent more off besides, after haggling a bit (thanks for doing the dirty work, Mom).

It's a big relief. I totally dread snowstorms: My arms turn to spaghetti and I end up coming back in totally spent -- sometimes I'm unable to get back to work right away because my arms don't work right. And with the Frickin' Van finally gone once and for all, I've reclaimed about 1/4 of the driveway. That's just more to shovel.

The other big problem is clearing the end of the driveway, which, during a serious snowstorm, can easily get a pile a foot or two deep and yards wide, thanks to the passing snowplows. When you've spent half an hour just getting to the end of the driveway then find a few yards of slush-caked snow to deal with, you want to kill yourself, especially as it starts cracking the shovel.

And, of course, we live on what the U.S. Postal Service defines as a "rural route" (along with the rest of the town of Mashpee), so we have to clear out space for the mail deliverer to reach our mailbox. Each winter we get a helpful postcard from the U.S.P.S. showing us the proper shape of the clearance (a wide arc) and the approximate distance from the mailbox we're supposed to clear.

And then there's the gravel. We haven't yet paved the driveway, so shoveling means pulling up pounds of pea-sized stones every winter and dumping them into the foliage and the yard, then trying to rake that crap back into the driveway each spring.

The snowblower we got has risers on the bottom of the scoop that lift it up slightly, so picking up rocks shouldn't be a major issue. I might go back and pick up chains for it to make sure it doesn't get stuck in the snow. That would suck.

My next door neighbor on one side has a snowblower, but he tends to leave early in the morning and won't help me clear the driveway unless there's a lot of snow and he sees that I'm ready to have a stroke (I don't blame him -- I probably wouldn't bother either, though we get along well enough otherwise).

Anyway, when we first started shopping I told the guy in Sears, "I wanna be guaranteed we won't have any snow this year so I'm interested in buying a snowplow."

"Well, if we don't sell you one, I'm gonna figure out where you live," he told me. "Then after the first blizzard I'm going to call your neighbors and tell them it's your fault."

Posted by flargh at 10:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Working at call centers and so on:

My last name is not pronounced "ko-hen." The h is silent. It's "ko-en."

I've never heard anyone from the Northeast screw it up. It only happens if someone calls that's from the south or the midwest. I guess you don't get a lot of Jews your way.

Also, the town I live in is pronounced "mash-pee." Not "mash-a-pee."

And the "a" in Hyannis is like the "a" in bat. Not "high-anus."

Thank you.

Posted by flargh at 08:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Mom will be proud -- I even got the "calculate the area of a triangle" question right!

Posted by flargh at 01:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

James: "Daddy, what's Uranus?"

"The seventh planet from the Sun."

"So my butt's a planet?"

Posted by flargh at 07:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

A well meaning but misguided friend laid into me last week about how food allergies can cause the same sort of symptoms in kids we see in Emmeline and Robert. I snapped off a sharp retort and cut off the conversation abruptly, and while I was a bit rude, here's the thing: I'm not stupid. I know all this already.

Since 2001, Bonnie and I have been actively seeking treatment for and developing coping skills to handle two children whose brain chemistry just ain't right. It'd be great if those problems would go away if we suddenly stopped feeding them wheat, or Red Dye #3, or dairy products, or started supplementing their diets with flax seed oil, or fish oil, or St. John's Wort, but in our case, it's not that easy.

We've had them tested for allergies. We've even tried limiting their diets to see if they had specific sensitivities. Didn't make one bit of goddamn difference. We've read the news articles, watched the documentaries, rented the videos, read the books. We've been to the classes. We've talked to the experts. Seriously.

I don't question the efficacy of those treatment for some kids, but mine aren't like that. They have legitimate disorders that do benefit from pharmacological treatment, behavior therapy and training. Even then, they're inclined to have good days or bad days, just like the rest of the human race. It's just that their bad days can be a lot worse than the average person's.

In many ways, it's the same kind of well-meaning but misguided advice that experienced parents offer new parents or that old married couples offer newlyweds. I know that it's coming from a place of charity, empathy and genuine concern, but I can't help this niggling feeling that I'm somehow being condescended to.

I get genuinely irritated that people -- in some cases, people who don't have kids, and in most cases, people who have never had to deal with the problems we have -- actually presume that they know the answer, simply because they read an article in Ladies Home Journal or saw a very special episode of Oprah.

I wish the conversation would just end at, "Did you look at [food allergies/environmental sensitivities/gamma radiation/electromagnetic interference/mercury poisoning]?" "Yes."

And then they'd let it go. But they never do.

I had one person tell me recently that they didn't agree with the medical diagnosis of one of my kids -- someone without any sort of medical training whatsoever. I had another one tell me that they didn't "believe" in diagnoses like ADHD or bipolar disorder in children, with the same sort of self-righteous conviction as someone might tell you they don't believe in the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus. And this person wasn't even a Scientologist.

When that happens, it's a bit like hearing a tax accountant tell me what's wrong with the situation in Afghanistan: Anyone's entitled to an opinion, no matter how ill-informed.

Knowing that diagnosing mental illness is a hazy science at best, especially in children, I take such comments with a grain of salt and try my best to let it slide, but clearly it can still irritating me, because I'm bringing it up here.

Anyway, I beg of you: Think before you speak, if you choose to speak to me or others like me about the problems with our kids. And please, tread lightly. We may not know everything, but sometimes, we really do know what we're doing.

And if you do think we're doing a poor job, for God's sake, keep it to yourself.

Posted by flargh at 03:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Another irritating phrase I wish would be banished from the American popular lexicon forever.

Posted by flargh at 10:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Bob: "Jim's beard is really freaking me out."

Yeah, kid. That's the idea. Believe me, that's *everyone's* reaction.

Posted by flargh at 10:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

The Frickin' Van has been mouldering slowly away in the driveway ever since I took it off the road in early 2005. Today it left our home for the last time.

A guy showed up right before lunch and said he saw the van in the driveway. "Are you doing anything with that van?" he asked.

"Nope," said I.

"Want me to take it off your hands?"

Turns out he's a landscaper who works on the Vineyard who's trying to make a few extra bucks, and he was only too happy to take it to the junkyard and sell it for scrap. And me, I was only too happy to get rid of it -- and I'd just as soon give it to someone who can use the money.

He showed up at about 2:45 PM in an F-150 with a flatbed trailer attached. It took us about 45 minutes and a passing stranger lent us a hand, but we finally got it on to the trailer, and he's towed it away. Hopefully never to be seen again.

Bye, Frickin' Van. Can't say as I'll miss you, but thank you for your service.

Posted by flargh at 03:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

As usual, the kids got the day off from school yesterday. One of the school gymnasiums is used for voting, so the teachers get the day as a training day, and the kids stay home. So we take them voting with us -- Bonnie and I figure it's a good civics lesson, if nothing else.

Deval Patrick, the Dem. gubernatorial candidate (and our new governor-elect, as it turns out), had supporters who must have put up signs every three feet across the entire lawn of the school. There weer lots of other signs and placards, and people holding signs.

James is still learning how to read, so he didn't know what they said.

"They have the names of the candidates that are on the ballot," I explained.

"Oh, so they say 'vote for me,'" James remarked.

"Right," said I.

On the way out, James looked around at all the signs again.

"You know, Daddy," he said, "I don't think you should vote for a person just because they have the most signs."

Posted by flargh at 11:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Bob: "James, why do you like to punch me in the weenie?"

James: "I dunno. It just makes me happy."

Posted by flargh at 07:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I voted


Originally uploaded by flargh.

Did you?

Posted by flargh at 03:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

My mom hung up on her wall at work this quote from George Bernard Shaw that I first saw when I was a kid. It has stuck with me throughout my adult life as a good philosophy to live by:

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man."

Posted by flargh at 09:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

This e-mail was sent to the Mashpee Enterprise, Cape Cod Times and a number of other media outlets over the weekend. For background, please read this blog entry.

The recent furor over a fifth grade Mashpee student's threats to murder his classmates -- idle or otherwise -- ought to be a clear call to residents of Mashpee to affect major change within the schools, starting from the top on down. And I heartily encourage the media, local and regional alike, to continue to shine a spotlight on what's happening in the town of Mashpee.

The incident isn't just about school safety: It's about the Mashpee school administration's lack of public accountability. Mashpee school superintendent Ann Bradshaw says the recent incident has been "blown way out of proportion" and said that the school system has been "very open and forthright," according to the Mashpee Enterprise, but the administration's actions demonstrate otherwise.

Problems with Mashpee schools have been simmering for years, but they've been exacerbated under the current administration. Many parents were upset at what they saw as a lack of action and lack of leadership at the high school when, last year, several bomb threats were made and acts of vandalism took place.

There have been incidents of student-on-student violence at the high school, and the administration has done precious little to defuse the concerns of parents and students alike, outside of paying lip service.

Parents of children with special needs have long complained about the school system's lack of support and resources, right down to an absence of parent advisory councils -- which, by the way, are required by state law -- and special education parent training.

Looking at this specific incident, please consider that it took the teacher and an anonymous parent to contact the media before this news became widespread, and that teacher has now demanded union mediation before she'll return. That suggests to me that there's a serious breakdown in communication between the school administration and faculty -- Lord knows how far that goes, because you won't hear anything from the Mashpee school administrators about it, and I suspect, based on my own anecdotal experience talking with a few of them, that Mashpee teachers are too scared to rock the boat themselves. Perhaps Ms. Gannon's actions will give them more courage to speak up.

Consider that no attempt was made to let the parents of other children in Ms. Cannon's classroom know what happened, or what sort of counseling services those students are receiving to help process the trauma they experienced.

Consider that Principal Jeffrey Lynn Dees did not send a letter to the parents of Quashnet kids ostensibly until after he was contacted by the media for comment. I guess being "open and forthright" is easier when you know you're being scrutinized by the media. Even so, Dees' letter to parents -- which we received a week after the incident happened -- said nothing more than, in essence, "something happened, we can't tell you what or who or where, but we took some action, so trust us." (Feel free to get in touch if you want a copy of that memo.)

It took reading the paper or watching the evening news on television before most of us found out what had happened.

And consider Jeanne Cannon's claims of being bullied and mistreated by Dees and ignored by Mashpee Superintendent Ann Bradshaw.

Consider, finally, and perhaps most importantly, that the school has said absolutely nothing about what's being done to help the fifth grader at the center of this debacle with clinical or therapeutic assistance. All we've learned, courtesy of WCVB news, is that the school took punitive action against him: The child reportedly was given an in-school suspension. But again, according to Dees' letter, that isn't our business to question or to know. We're just supposed to trust them.

Well, many of us don't, and with good reason.

The Mashpee school administration does a great job of support parents when they're involved in PTO association bake sales to raise money for playground rehabilitation at the schools or other fund-raisers and feel-good efforts that have a positive net return, but that same administration turns a blind eye and a deaf ear to parents who actively advocate for their children or challenge their decision-making processes. And then they have the audacity to complain about media scrutiny or public criticism when they're taken to task for their failures.

Mashpee residents should demand better accountability and more transparency from a school administration that exists at our sufferance. And if we can't get it, we should demand their immediate resignations.

Posted by flargh at 08:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

If WRKO radio is serious about making sure its radio personalities clean up their acts in the wake of John DePetro's firing for calling gubernatorial candidate Grace Ross a "fat lesbian," then they ought to continue by firing Howie Carr. Some of the bile that spews out of that jerk's mouth makes DePetro look like a pussycat.

Posted by flargh at 01:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Movie tickets to see "Flushed Away:" $32.50

Popcorn, soda, Icees and pretzels for the family: $40

Two pairs of pants on sale at K-Mart that we put away for Bob for when he grows into them: $2

Emme having temper tantrums and creating public scenes because she didn't want a pretzel but wanted something else and because I wouldn't buy her tights at K-Mart "because that's fair," and then getting to listen to her wail about how "everybody hates her" at the top of her lungs: Priceless.

Posted by flargh at 07:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So here's my thought: Instead of voting for a candidate, what if you could vote *against* a candidate? Wouldn't that be useful sometimes, when you have a choice of candidates that don't impress you at all, and you feel like you're voting for the lesser of two (or more) evils?

I think the big problem with this idea is that in some races, you'd end up with no one voted for -- just candidates voted against.

But that could be interesting, as well. Then we'd be left with anti-presidents -- politicians who would sponsor legislation and try to enact laws and policies that, if passed, we would do the exact opposite of.

Let's NOT invade Iraq...

Let's NOT enforce abstinance as the only valid form of birth control for adults up to 29 years old...

Let's NOT impede scientists from reporting on global warming ... etc.

Posted by flargh at 06:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

James: "Daddy! I'm eating Boston!"

Posted by flargh at 12:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Regular readers of this blog know that there's no love lost between me and the administration of our Mashpee public schools. I think that, for the most part, they're incompetent fools. But I leave it to you to judge for yourself. Check out the latest local shitstorm.

Death threat raises alarm

Teacher stays out in wake of threat

Teacher Upset About Alleged Threats

I think it's pretty sad that this teacher felt she had no other recourse than to go to the press.

Posted by flargh at 11:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Another day of unmitigated journalistic dumbassery on the Intarweb.

Mac news sources are broadly reporting that Adobe is shipping Acrobat 8 today. We had that news posted back in *September*, when it *actually happened.* All that Adobe announced today is that Acrobat 8 is available. Why they're doing it again doesn't make much sense, but hey, they've gotten their money's worth from the wire release, that's for sure.

Then the other one that's got my goat is the announcement from some in the game press that Postal 2 is available for the Mac. It's been available for quite some time -- in fact, I reviewed it back in March. All they're doing is seeing a press release from Macgamestore.com that you can now buy it as a digital download and sloppily presuming that this is its first release.

Some days I just grind my teeth...

Posted by flargh at 02:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Yesterday spun totally out of control so I didn't have a chance to blog, but it ended up being a solid Halloween. Not our best, but not our worst. Things spun out of control because I had an afternoon doctor's appointment that ran an hour late, and it totally blew my schedule.

I had fully planned to get back to the house in time to carve the pumpkins and make dinner before the trick or treaters arrived. But as it was, I had just barely enough time to go to the hardware store to pick up some electrical stuff I needed for the lights and what-not we put out as decorations, spun by the drug store to drop off some new prescriptions and pick up a bag of candy for the halloweeners, then jet up to Hyannis to pick up Emme from her after school program.

Dinner got scratched in favor of a Domino's delivery. I never *did* find lamp oil for the creepy-looking tiki torches we bought, and managed to get home just with barely enough time to string everything up and get it set before the kids went out with their friends to trick or treat through the neighborhood.

My kids came home from Sunday school with some promissory note that they're going to do a good deed on All Saint's Day (today), which I presume is some fucked up way of atoning for the pagan worship they participated in the night before. When I saw this I launched into a diatribe about how most Christian holidays are bullshit paste-overs on old Pagan traditions like Samhain and Yule.

Needless to say, Bonnie was displeased with this. Oh well. That's what she gets for marrying a Godless heathen.

Hey, Easter bunnies and painted eggs make a shitload more sense in the context of fertility worship than they do in the resurrection of Christ, anyway.

Posted by flargh at 09:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)