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Whoever thought up this ad (for Christy Mihos' campaign for governor of Massachusetts) is a frickin' genius.
Edit: Several people have reported being unable to load up that movie in QuickTime. If you're having trouble, just back up to the Christy2006.com home page and view "Heads Up" from there -- it's embedded on the home page.
So we're making plans to have heat and carpeting run in my office -- four years after the rest of the office was finished.
I fully intended to have the office finished within months of having walls, lighting and power run, but somehow never got around to it. Part of it was procrastination, which I'm very good at, and part of it is really bad budgeting.
Anyway, it appears that circumstances will allow the office to finally be finished, which means I'll use it more often. And that's a good thing that I look forward to. The first order of business is to clean the damn place up and move as much out of there as I can. I don't look forward to that -- it's going to take a while, along with quite a few trips to the transfer station to get rid of trash, junk, and obsolete documentation and books that I can donate to the book recycling program they have a trailer for there.
So I get a call this morning. Heavily Indian-accented English speaking through a static-laden line, lots of background noise. Maybe it's monsoon season in Mumbai. Maybe it's just a bad connection.
"Hello, Mr. Peter A. Co-hen? This is Dalton calling from [indecipherable]"
"Excuse me? Dalton from where?"
Uh oh. The customer has done something unexpected. Time to start the script over again.
"Hello, Mr. Peter A. Cohen? This is Dalton calling from United Mort-gauge. Am I right that you have mort-gauge on your house?"
I hung up, obviously. But does United Mortgage really think that anyone in their right mind is going to discuss refinancing their house with someone who's cold-calling them from 8,000 miles away and demonstrates a tenuous-at-best understanding of English?
I hope the cost savings are worth it.
So we're planning on going to King Richard's Faire today -- I suppose that's the first tip off. It's a renaissance fair that's now in its 25th season, and I've been going since *I* was a kid. But going was her idea this year.
Anyway, the kids are all looking forward to it, and we're even bringing Bob's friend Miles. Yesterday he asked us how much things cost, because he wanted to buy a souvenir -- in typical boy fashion, he wants something destructive: an axe.
Bonnie thinks about it for a second, and then asks, "Are you looking for one good enough for LARPing?"
I saw a piece on a news program this morning on Anousheh Ansari, who in a few hours is scheduled to become the first female space tourist.
An Iranian native, she moved to the US when she was a teenager and didn't speak English, has a masters in EE, has founded several companies, and is a self-made billionaire.
And she's only three years older than me.
No matter how old I get or what happens in my life, I hope I'm never too jaded, cynical or bitter to stop loving The Muppets.
James decided tonight that a good interim career until his motorcycle-riding-ninja-kitty-protection service gets off the ground is Ninja Pizza. He wants to deliver pizza dressed as a ninja.
He figures he can throw the pizza like shurikens then cut it up using his katana blade. And if people pay extra, he'll sneak into the house when they're not looking and set up the pizza in their dining room. He can also impress customers by wielding breadsticks like nunchaku.
I'm pretty sure the market is wide open for this, but I'm not quite sure where he'd get pizza ninjitsu training.
Many times I have written about my beloved Dunkin' Donuts in this space. Alas, I am heartbroken to report that today, they have no donuts.
Dunkin' Donuts uses regional facilities to produce the actual donuts and pastries they sell. And apparently this region is served by a production facility based in nearby Wareham, Mass. The Dunkin' employees I spoke with this morning tell me that a fire at that building overnight has stopped the donut-making, and they aren't sure when it will come back online.
There's panic in the streets! Rioting, even!
As we get closer to the Democratic primaries in Massachusetts, political advertising has hit a fever pitch on Boston television stations and it's really grating on my nerves. The advertising is dominated by the three major gubernatorial candidates -- Deval Patrick, Chris Gabrieli and Tom Reilly, as well as several others seeking the Lieutenant Governor's nomination.
It's certainly nothing new, but what rubs me the wrong way about these ads is their general tone -- and more specifically, the tone of voice used by the ads' narrators as they begin to tell you not so much why their candidate is so much more worthy of your vote, but why the opposition shouldn't be elected.
Negative political advertising is nothing new, but these ads are just so transparently and sophomorically negative that I can't take them seriously at all. It seems at times like if the narrator could inject a "blech" or spitting noise when mentioning the name of the opposition, they would. And the facts expressed in these ads often strain the very limits of credibility.
Besides, for me, it's all hot air. Not being a registered Democrat or Republican, the primaries are of no consequence to me. Just bring on the big show and let's get it over with, people.
Unless you're of a certain age (and a certain gastronomic leaning), you may not know or care that up until 1992 or so, McDonald's did not "bake" its pie desserts. In fact, it fried them. And while if they made a return today I wouldn't eat them (I can't think of anything a diabetic should eat LESS than a fried Apple pie), I certainly remember them fondly.
The McDonald's apple pie was basically dough sealed on both ends filled with a sugary, syrupy pie filling with chunks of apple distributed within. The product arrived to McDonald's locations frozen, and they'd be cooked in the fry vats. Immersing them in boiling oil made the crust bubble and crisp, and, of course, heated the filling within to near volcanic temperatures. Many a young American experienced severe second and third-degree burns to their palate trying to scarf down those sweet treats.
Thinking about them objectively, I understand that they're hideous, disgusting things that barely register as food, but that doesn't change the fact that as a kid, I used to crave them when we'd go to McD's -- the crispy, faintly greasy shell, the hot, sweet filling spilling into my mouth -- it was a rare treat that was difficult to repeat at home unless your family was into deep-frying in the kitchen.
I understand that a few, rare McDonald's do still sell fried apple pies, by the way -- legend tells of McDonald's franchises located in smaller venues that can't fit a bake oven still offering the fried confections.
Billed as a remedy for migraine headaches, Head On easily gets my award for Most Annoying TV Commercial Ever. In heavy rotation on CNN, the ad shows a woman applying what looks like a glue stick across her forehead repeatedly while a voice announces "Head On! Apply directly to the forehead!" over and over again. That's the whole ad. It's like a 15 second spot, but it just drills itself down into your cerebral cortex and rests there, like a Ceti Eel from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.
I'd love to talk with the marketing folks who came up with this idea.
"OK, so we're pitching this to people who are suffering from blinding headaches. Let's come up with something dead simple, that's more annoying than their headache itself."
"I got it: Let's just say the words 'Apply directly to the forehead' over and over again. After all, they're incoherent from the pain, we don't want to overwhelm them with too much info."
It's deceptively, almost evilly simple.
As far as the product itself is concerned, what little I can glean online seems to suggest that it's a homeopathic remedy (and that immediately sets off alarm bells with me -- I think homeopathy is quackery of the worst kind) that simply has some cooling agents like menthol and menthyl lactate (same stuff as what's in Fixodent denture powder), which I'm sure provide some relief to people who are suffering muscle-related discomfort.
I love that the weather is cooling and outside of some wetness we've had for the past few days, this is just about the perfect temperature for me -- in the 70s and just delightful. It's also that time of year that the kids go back to school. But I'm not terribly fond of September for one reason alone: It's the peak of ragweed season. Of all the allergies that we have collectively as a family, I think ragweed hits us the hardest. It's worst on Bob, who has more or less a chronic case of the sniffles to begin with.
A while ago it was recommended to us by an allergist we've seen that Bob use a sinus rinse -- sort of a modern-day neti pot. He's really bad about using it. Asking a child -- even an 11 year old -- to stick a spigot up his nose and irrigate his sinus passages isn't a natural thing unless he's grown up around it, I suppose, but the fact is it works and it does give him some measure of relief. And frankly, I'd rather see him do that than dose him up on decongestants and antihistamines.
On top of that, Bonnie gets blepheritis this time of year -- a problem with her eyelids that is also triggered by allergies.
Of the three of us, I'm probably the best off -- I get congested and sniffly, even taking decongestants every day -- but it's not nearly as bad as it used to be. So I just grin and bear it, and try to get Bob to do the right thing.
So I've booted the iMac into Windows and installed the Blackberry Desktop software that RIM includes in the package with the 8700c. It's *much* better than the stuff that you can download from PocketMac.
If I had to summarize PocketMac for Blackberry in a single word, that word would be "clunky." It's inelegant. It's ineffecient. And it's ugly.
The first time I synchronized my Blackberry to the Mac, I started getting messages about sync services and weird names for contacts, calendars and tasks. I muddled through it, but if I wasn't familiar with what the software was talking about I would have stopped dead in my tracks -- is it necessary to ask me if I want to synchronize "iCalCalendar" instead of just "iCal," for example?
What's more, PocketMac seems to have converted every all day activity I have in my iCal calendar to a 24-hour activity instead. I'm terrified to do another calendar sync to see if the same problem happens.
Also, the PocketMac software doesn't support Bluetooth syncing, which means I have to attach a USB cable to get it to work.
RIM's software is, actually, better, even if it caters specifically to Windows users. I can specify actions to automatically engage when the Blackberry is synced, Bluetooth is supported (though I confess I haven't gotten it working quite yet) and it enables me to transfer downloaded applications to the Blackberry, much as you can do with a Palm PDA. I don't understand why this basic feature is missing from the PocketMac software.
I hate to think that I'm going to be stuck using PocketMac, because I really dislike it.
Well, my entry into the world of smartphone use is now three days old, and I must say that I'm enjoying it. I'm the proud new user of a Blackberry 8700c from Cingular Wireless.
Two years ago I switched from then-AT&T Wireless to Verizon Wireless because I'd had so much trouble with calls dropping on my then-ancient TDMA phone. GSM really hadn't hit critical mass in that part of Massachusetts yet, and while the AT&T Wireless reps promised that coverage would be really, really good -- eventually -- I wasn't willing to wait.
I don't regret the decision. Verizon Wireless has provided decent CDMA coverage over the last couple of years, and I've been happy with my phone -- an LG VX600, which, while lacking true "smartphone" capabilities, came close enough to work well for me for quite a while (and was, in a pinch, good for the occasional low-res photo.
But that time has passed. Now AT&T and Cingular are one, and Cingular has a good nationwide network. I've gotten sick and tired of Verizon Wireless -- they're fond of crippling their Bluetooth hardware, and seem intent on sticking their hand in the cookie jar for everything, from sending photos to downloading ringtones. David Nanian and I were joking the other night that if Verizon could put a coin slot or a mag strip reader on their phones and get away with it, they would. So it came time to switch carriers, and Cingular made sense for reasons not worth discussing here. The decision became, which phone do I get?
Some of the folks in the office prefer Palm Treos, and I understand why -- Palm OS is familiar, the devices are expandable with a host of third party software, they're convenient to use and, with the addition of Mark/Space's Missing Sync software, they're quite Mac-friendly. But, as Andy put it quite succinctly the other night, there's something unshakeably 1998 about the Palm OS experience. It's a bit like using Mac OS 9 when you're really craving Mac OS X, or Windows 3.1 when it's XP that you need.
So then it came down to two basic choices: A smartphone running Windows Mobile 5 or a smartphone made by RIM -- a Blackberry.
I opted for the Blackberry, getting what is (right now, anyway), their top model -- a color display with 320 x 240 resolution, EDGE network support, Bluetooth and just about every other amenity you can imagine. I didn't do this capriciously, or because of any inherent bias against Windows Mobile devices -- I've used them and I certainly considered it as a possibility.
Pluses: Thanks to an agreement with Information Appliance Associates, you can download Mac syncing software for free. You can charge the phone from a Mac or laptop using a USB cable. I've set it up to ping four different e-mail accounts, which it does flawlessly. I've even downloaded an AIM client (Ramble) which works well enough for me, so I can chat mobile. The device provides a clear and coherent signal for voice calls, even when the bar is low. The QWERTY keyboard is comfortable to use and, though I'm suffering some speed and accuracy issues, I'm getting used to it damn fast. It can figure out when it's been "holstered" and will automatically switch profiles -- going from an audible ring to vibrate, for example, or setting an away message in the AIM client. Very clever.
Minuses: The 8700c is bulky and wide -- wider than Treo. You feel a bit silly talking on it -- it's like holding a taco to your head (though not as taco-like as Nokia's game-centric flop, the N-Gage). This is where a Bluetooth headset comes in handy. There isn't nearly as much software for it as there is for the Treo, near as I can tell. And as far as the Mac sync software is concerned, well, you get what you pay for. Also, I haven't been able to figure out if it's even possible to use it as a Bluetooth modem, but it doesn't seem very easy, that's for sure.
One thing that I have to say for Bonnie -- when it comes to jewelry, she's very, very practical. She once told me, in all seriousness, that she didn't fancy diamonds or pearls or precious gems, but that if I wanted to spoil her with jewelry, I should just buy her watches.
And not fancy thousand-dollar timepieces or Movado Museum Watch things, either. Novelty watches. She'll find the occasional Nightmare Before Christmas limited edition watch from Hot Topic to be completely irresistable, for example, or decide that Sanrio's newest Hello Kitty watch is an absolute must-have. And it's rare enough that when something does strike her fancy, I try my best to indulge her, either as a birthday or Christmas present or an unexpected bonus just for putting up with my (and the kids') endless shit.
Now, I gave up wearing watches probably at about the same time as I got my PowerBook G4/800. That was the first laptop I ever used that was fast enough to be a replacement for my desktop machine for most of my daily work, and I've never looked back. I've substituted cell phone or PDA clocks as my timepieces of choice. Besides, one can't really wear a watch and use a laptop at the same time, unless one is content with scratching the crap out of the top of the laptop.
Even then, my tastes ran strictly to practical -- or at least utilitarian. I'm a fan of analog timepieces; I did dabble with multifunction digitals in the 80s, but I didn't know any better. Novelty watches? I had a Mickey Mouse watch when I was a kid -- in fact, my obsession with listening to it, in case you've ever wondered, is why this blog is named "Tikkabik." It's my mom's old nickname for me -- a long-descended variation on the "tick-tock" noise that fascinated me so much when I was four.
Anyway, I've finally found a novelty watch that I really, really want: The Dreamcast Watch.
I'm not saying that I'd wear this with, say, a tuxedo or a fancy suit (though I don't see why I wouldn't, exactly). But a Macworld Expo party or a WWDC cocktail reception? Hellz yeah. This is about as geeky chic (and disturbingly appropriate for me, given my taste) as Andy Ihnatko's omnipresent Babylon 5/Crusade Anla'shok medallion.
Robert has chronic rhinitis; I guess it beats asthma. Like me, he's sensitive to dust and dust mites, and he's got a few other environmental allergies. I suspect that we could tear out every trace of carpeting in the house and buy him a new bed and hermetically seal all the furniture under plastic, and he'd still be sniffling.
In the past the allergist has recommended a sinus rinse -- basically a big plastic squeeze bottle we fill with a cocktail of warm water, kosher salt and baking soda, that he uses to flush his sinus passages. It's an evolved version of a neti pot, which has been used for quite a long time in Eastern culture.
But asking an 11 year old boy to stick a bottle up his nose and flush water through it isn't effective; it's just not a regimen he's willing to put up with. In fact, Robert's not even willing to blow his nose into a tissue. So especially this time of year, when the ragweed is in bloom, we hear this almost constantly:
*SNORT* *SNORT* *SNIFFLE* *SNORT*
It drives me absolutely batshit.