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December 29, 2004

This was the year

At Corey's behest, I present to you my summary of 2004.

This was the year ...

... that we brought Max home from the animal shelter.

... that I got a Power Mac G5 and a 17-inch PowerBook. Ph34r my 1337 sk177z.

... World of Warcraft came out, and sucked me in. Big time.

... that Macworld Expo returned to Boston.

... James broke his arm. His is the second broken limb of the Cohen kids (Bob broke his when he was a toddler, jumping off the sofa) and hopefully the last for a good long time.

... Emmeline was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.

... our new neighbors moved in, with a daughter about Emme's age, who has become close friends with her.

... that after five years out of the biz, I found out my IT skills hadn't totally atrophied, when I helped the same neighbors troubleshoot a wireless networking problem with their PC laptop. (Hint: If you want to go Wi-Fi, it helps to have a Wi-Fi card installed.)

... that 60.6 million Americans proved to me that while they might otherwise be intelligent and compassionate, friendly and likeable people, when it comes to politics, they have their heads completely up their asses. I guess, given that's the case, their choice of President is understandable.

... that the Red Sox proved that the Curse of the Bambino is horse puckey.

... that the Pats proved that while they're not infallible, they're still a Very Good Team.

... that Wall Street analysts finally figured out that Apple might be on to something with this whole iPod and iTunes Music Store thing.

... I finally started getting treatment for allergies that have plagued me for years.

... I started seeing an endocrinologist to try to get my diabetes under control.

.... I finally got a flu shot. (Ironic, eh?)

... I got a DVR.

... they began to install town water mains throughout the neighborhood, so we can soon stop worrying about the well and the quality of water in the house.

... we read the entire Series of Unfortunate Events (at least that which has been published) and saw the movie too.

... we replaced all the lightbulbs in the house with energy-efficient fluorescent models ...

... and didn't see much reduction in our energy bill.

All told, it wasn't the shittiest year I've had, but it wasn't the best, either. Looking forward to 2005, though. Why? Because it's not 2004.

Sleeping late

One thing you may not realize if you don't have kids: Sleeping late is a luxury that is reserved solely for kids and for adults without children. I haven't regularly or consistently been able to sleep late since I was in my early 20's. Now I can only count on being able to sleep late a few times a year, and this morning was one of them.

I've never fancied myself a "morning person." I'm usually working by 7 AM, but that doesn't mean I'm all together with it until several hours later -- I'm usually groggy and miserable until about 10 or 11. And while I'm up at 6 or often earlier, I'm usually really resentful about it, because it's inevitably because the kids are responsible -- usually because there's screaming or crying as a result of some real or perceived injustice or abuse between siblings.

I can usually only sleep in if my mom takes all three kids for an overnight at her house, which has, to date, only happened once; if I'm on the road and it's a "down" day, such as a day before the trade show I'm covering begins; or if all three kids sleep in themselves -- which might happen once a year, if I'm lucky. So I don't get to sleep in very often.

This morning I could sleep in because Bonnie and the kids spent the night at a nearby hotel. It's my father-in-law's annual tradition, and he's done it since the grandkids were younger. He books a night -- inevitably mid-week, because the rates are lower -- at one of the hotels in nearby Hyannis that stays open year-round, and has a pool. And inevitably, it's an exercise in frustration. Not only are my three kids involved, but their two cousins are as well, one of whom is Robert's age and the other who is a teen now.

Five kids, ages ranging from 13 to 4. And an overly Type A (albeit kindhearted enough) father-in-law who more enjoys being one of the kids than helping to corral them and keep them under control, to the detriment of other hotel guests.

So, if it isn't obvious already, I stay away from this event like the Plague. It's a pressure-cooker atmosphere that's just stress I don't want or need, especially now that Christmas is beginning to recede behind us.

My mother has been unlucky enough to be involved for the past couple of years. This year, she begged off -- the (legitimate) excuse was that she couldn't take time off from her new job. So Bonnie got corralled in instead. Poor Bonnie. From the sound of it, James and Emme were good enough for the most part, though Robert was the problem child for this event: Lots of bullying, fighting and other generally crappy behavior. Not what I expect of him, to be honest, and I'm a little disappointed.

In other words, Max (the cat) and I had the house to ourselves for most of yesterday afternoon and all of this morning. I'm still recovering from shoveling the driveway on Monday -- my forearms are still aching badly, though my upper body and back have recovered -- so I've been gimping around but otherwise have been keeping a low profile.

Max, who's gotten used to being Bonnie's cuddle-buddy when it's nap or sleep time, hasn't known what to do with himself. Last night he woke me up at about 2AM, yowling loudly, eyes wide and fur bristled, then he scrambled off the bed and took a nutty, running laps around the house. When people go missing from the house unexpectedly, Max gets offended -- some cats have a very distinct sense of schedule and routine that does not tolerate change at all, and he is one such cat.

The upside of all this is that I woke up at about 8:30 this morning, free of obligations to work and family. As a bachelor, I'm sure I would have felt ripped off at only sleeping in until 8:30. But as a working stiff and father, it was a blissful extra two hours of sleep that I don't normally get to enjoy.

But now Bonnie and the kids are back, and everything is back to normal.

December 28, 2004

Arms like overcooked spaghetti

Eighteen inches of snow later, I spent most of yesterday afternoon in the driveway clearing the snow. Really, I didn't finish until this morning when I got the rest of the van dug out so Bonnie and the kids could take off for an activity.

My arms hurt. Even though I have an electric Toro "Power Shovel," which spins the snow out of the way through an impeller not unlike a snow blower, it still requires a lot of lugging around. Plus, towards the end of the driveway, it was all ice and slush from the plows, which needed to be manually broken up and shoveled away.

So when I got back in the house last night, my arms and my back both hurt a bit. I popped some Tylenol.

Then about 11pm I popped some more, because they were hurting again.

Then at four in the morning I woke up, and I really, really ached. So I took some more Tylenol.

When I woke up this morning at about 8:30 I was so sore I could barely move. That's when I realized that I'd used up all the Tylenol.

Snow sucks.

December 27, 2004

Belated white Christmas

So the day after Christmas was the first significant snowfall the Cape has seen since the cold weather started, and boy, did we get walloped.

Normally, we're accustomed to pretty mild winters here. Often the rest of Mass. will get hammered with a foot or more and we'll only get an inch or two, but the exact opposite is happening presently, thanks to "ocean effects" snow. What happened is that the land was a lot colder than the water, so heavy precipitation blew in from the ocean.

We got some rain yesterday afternoon and it pretty quickly turned over to snow, though it didn't start to accumulate until nightfall. Once it started, though, it accumulated quickly, and has fallen heavily throughout the night. And by "heavy," I mean at least a foot of snow, with more coming down -- they're predicting another four inches or so in some spots on the Cape before this thing is over.

What I'm most looking forward to, though, is that thick layer of icy slush I know is underneath all the snow -- like I said, it started out as rain.

Joy.

December 26, 2004

I am a mighty cow!

Christmas is once again behind us, and for that I am grateful. As you probably know by now, I take no great pleasure in the season. I find it very stressful and uncomfortable for a variety of reasons.

Anyway, to relieve that stress, I've spent much of this long holiday weekend playing World of Warcraft. It's become my new obsession. Although I've played the game regularly throughout its extensive beta-test since last Spring, I've only really recently dug my heels into it and started exploring it to its full potential -- ironically after I've already reviewed the game, but it doesn't matter, because all the time I've spent with it reenforces the observations I made for that review.

I'm really, really enjoying the process of creating and developing new characters, and have spread my interests equally between different classes and races of Alliance and Horde characters. A night elf druid (how cliche!), a human warrior (yeah, but she's a she), an undead warlock (my least-played character at the moment, mainly because warlocks are so physically frail) and a Tauren hunter.

Now, the Tauren hunter I created on a lark. It was mainly for the benefit of my boys, who like watching over my shoulder as I play. Tauren, as the name implies, are minotaur-like bipedal creatures who look like cattle -- large horns, splayed nostrils, hooves. They're the aboriginal characters of the game -- they look, act and dress with a sort of Native American effect.

Here's the thing, though -- Cebu, as I named him, has become my most-played and highest-level character. He's now a Level 17 hunter well on his way to Level 18, and has a cougar for a pet that travels with him everywhere. Well, further proof that you are what you eat.

Ironic. I'm just glad they don't have any playable swine characters, or I'd never hear the end of it.

December 23, 2004

Merry Christmas, etc.

I'm taking some time off between now and the first of the year -- all next week in fact (limited vacation rollovers mean use it or lose it, and I'm only too happy to use it)!

So let me take this opportunity to wish those of you who read this blog a hearty Happy Christmas and Merry New Year. I hope to see at least a few of you at Macworld Expo in a few weeks.

December 21, 2004

Eschew obfuscation

The title of this entry is solid editorial advice for anyone who writes for a living. Avoid confusing the reader -- it's a good tip to keep in mind. Yet preferring words like "eschew" and "obfuscation" to "avoid" and "confusion" is an action that can be drilled into us from an early age.

My kids' school insists on referring to students who show up late as "tardy" and calls the bathroom a "lavatory." I remember when I was a kid, I'd never heard the term "lavatory" when the teachers suddenly started using it at the start of the second grade, let alone the truncation "lav." From second through third grade, I'd ask to go to the "lab" every time I had to pee, and then wonder where the bubbling beakers and tubes were.

Yet these same titans of officious vocabulary can't properly distinguish "it's" from "its" in a memo that was sent home with the kids yesterday.

December 18, 2004

Bah, humbug

My pathological loathing of Christmas absolutely hit the roof this morning when Bonnie told me that somehow we'd ended up with an inequity of gifts to distribute to the children, and that the course correction would require us to buy more stuff for one of them. I probably didn't handle it as well as I should have, because now we're having an argument about what to get each other, or, more precisely, whether to get each other anything at all.

The obvious solution is to withhold some of what we've gotten for the other two until birthdays or times for special rewards, or to return it all together, which is what I'm pushing for.

There's an ad for Macy's department stores that, near as I can tell, is completely serious in its intent: People are wandering through the store with doe-eyed looks of wonder as they see department signs showing them peace, love, goodwill, etc. -- all of them on tops of piles of toys and other goods you can buy there.

That's the message we get: Consume and you'll feel better. Buy things because that's the spirit of the season. What I find incredible is that this is a serious marketing message for Macy's, apparently. Because it almost seems like a Terry Gilliam-like satire.

Basically, it's pandering to the same response we learn as small children when we hurt ourselves. Skin your knee? Have a cookie, you'll feel better. OK, you got your shot -- time for a lollipop. Have a lousy year? Make sure to get that special someone a diamond ring. Feeling low? Buy a new Jaguar. It'll all make you feel better, as long as you keep buying.

December 14, 2004

There's a first time for everything

So I spent the day Monday at a series of professional development courses given at one of our corporate offices in Framingham, Mass. The training was fun and useful, but I found it remarkable for an entirely different reason: In my five-plus years of employment, it's the first time I've ever had a reason to visit those offices.

IDG, in general, is a famously decentralized business. While each business unit must render unto Caesar what it is Caesar's and share the benefits of a shared corporate existence -- retirement plans, good medical insurance, a set of common standards and practices -- they are essentially run like fiefdoms, each with very unique cultures and personalities. (That was reinforced yesterday when I spent the day in the company of editorial folks from our IT-centric publications. The lone "Mac" guy stuck out like a sore thumb.)

Having said that, I'm at least familiar enough with our corporate HQ in San Francisco that I know how to get there and could help someone else find their way there. So finding myself outside one of the Speen Street buildings yesterday struck me as a slightly surreal moment.

I'm just as happy that this is the first time I've had to go in: I was up well before dawn to get there in time and had to drive two hours (mostly at speeds well above the limit) to get there. The idea of having a four-hour commute -- even occassionally -- leaves me cold. And my heart bleeds for my Bay Area coworkers who have commutes that long, or even longer, in some cases.

One thing about working from home: I've gotten really used to just walking down two flights of stairs to get to the office.

Plus, in my office, pants are always optional. Even for guests, if you're thinking about stopping by.

December 12, 2004

The family in Yu-Gi-Oh cards

Bob collects Yu-Gi-Oh cards; he occasionally plays with them at school and friends' houses. Today he showed me the family, as depicted as Yu-Gi-Oh cards.

Emmeline is Fairy Guardian. Bonnie is Spirit of the Harp. I am Blue Eyes White Dragon ("especially in a temper," he added). Bob is Flame Champion. James is Acrobat Monkey. And last, but definitely not least, is our cat Max -- he's Petit Dragon, "a very small dragon known for its vicious attacks."

Now we are thirty-five

Somewhere after we'd had a kid or two I stopped really paying attention to my own birthday. I'd always have sort of a numb recognition of it, and act like a good sport when people wished me a happy one, but I certainly didn't make a big *deal* out of it. That ambivalence continues to grow from year to year.

Birthdays are, by and large, for the young. Kids know that birthdays mean presents and parties. Young adults use them as an excuse to tear loose, get drunk and act wild. For me, it's just another demarcation of time, little different from starting a new calendar year.

Personally, I don't want to go through the *hassle* of a birthday. Bonnie has been prodding me for a few weeks now on ideas for gifts, cake preferences, and so on, and I've told her that I would prefer to have none of it. It's not for wanting to be a buzzkill or wallowing in self-pity at having grown another year older. That stuff is for drama queens.

All I crave is simplicity and constancy -- two qualities that are totally absent from my life. How do you give someone *that* for a birthday?

I want *less.* I want less of everything: Less chaos, less stuff, less distraction, less change. I just want to put the brakes on everything for a little while. I want some peace.

For the most part, the only person who really *celebrates* my birthday is my mom, and that's probably as it should be. I have no doubt I'll be the same way when my kids are in their mid-30s. So we're going to go over to her house for brunch later today, after Bonnie and the kids are done with church and Sunday school. There will be bacon, she tells me. And cake.

December 08, 2004

Getting off on the wrong foot

I often gauge the quality of my day by how my first cup of coffee goes. If the coffee is burnt or foul-tasting or weak or if there's something wrong with it, it often frames the rest of my day and things just don't go right.

Today my first cup of coffee required powdered Coffee-Mate, because the kids used up all the milk after they each poured bowls of cereal for breakfast that they left on the table and did not eat.

This does not bode well.

December 07, 2004

Aireo 2? WTF!

This is one of the stupidest things I have ever seen in my life.

Not TMO. They're good guys, my peeps, I love 'em all. It's the Men's Health Top 100 tech products list that has lodged a great wad of hair across my ass, because they named the Aireo 2 over the iPod as their favorite MP3 player.

The Aireo 2 from SoniqCast is indeed a neat piece of kit. It's a wonky looking hard drive-based MP3 player that features built-in Wi-Fi capability, so you don't need to connect it to a computer using a cable to synchronize your music.

That's terrific in theory. But in practice, Wi-Fi is a shitload slower than USB 2.0 or FireWire 400. It might be fine for occasional synching, but what happens the first time you try to load up your 20GB player? You'll be waiting hours. Hours.

There's another problem too, and this goes to the root of why I'm calling bullshit on this tech list: The Aireo 2 doesn't exist yet. Sure, reviewers have gotten them, but they're prototypes, not production models. In fact, SoniqCast has no plans to sell them itself; it wants to sell the design spec to other companies, who will in turn manufacture the product under their own brand names.

Oh, what's more, it's not available anywhere yet. SoniqCast claims the Aireo 2 will be in production by the end of the first half of 2005.

It's a bit like Motor Trend naming the friggin' Batmobile its Car of the Year.

December 06, 2004

60 Minutes let me down

Here's a copy of a letter I sent the producers of 60 Minutes today:

Morley Safer ran a toothless piece on Adult Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) on the Sunday, December 5th edition of 60 Minutes, and to say that I was disappointed with the tabloid-style coverage is an understatement -- it's certainly a lot lower standard than I'm accustomed to from 60 Minutes.

Safer started out with the premise that Adult ADD is the latest cause celebre for overly self-absorbed adults looking for a pat explanation for why their lives are disorderly and chaotic, and gee, who's isn't? And pharmaceutical companies, of course, are feeding into this insecurity by pushing drugs that, up to now, have mainly been prescribed for kids.

Safer says that "the disorder isn't just for kids any more" without ever sufficiently providing answers as to why that's the case; he leaves us to infer that it's mostly the drug companies that are to blame here.

Bioethicist Arthur Caplan says, "Anybody who possibly could be put on medication as a child has been." That seems to imply that we're dealing with a stagnant population. Caplan apparently avoids the fact that we're continuing to have new kids all the time, some of whom will eventually require treatment. He also doesn't mention that there are large sectors of the youth population in poor areas (inner cities, for example) who need these drugs and don't get them.

I don't doubt that pharmas see adults diagnosed with ADD as a burgeoning lucrative market for their products, but that hardly negates the existence of the disorder. As an adult diabetic, for example, I'm grateful for the continued development of new drugs to help me combat my condition, and they certainly aid me in having a healthier, happier life. Am I supposed to see conspiracies every time new drugs are invented or a new use is found for them?

Also, where's any discussion about how this has come about? Outside of a pat, "it's been around for as long as there have been people" from psychiatrist Dr. Edward Hallowell, precious little effort is made to understand exactly what ADD/ADHD is. There was no discussion of how the disorder has come to be understood by modern medicine or the medical establishment's continued evolution in understanding the environmental, chemical, neurological and genetic factors that may contribute to this problem.

It was Safer's own snide comments that really raised my hackles, though. At one point he showed a person in a swing at the CHADD conference, for example, and then said it's "presumably for ADD swingers," ha ha. In fact, therapeutic swings like the one show during the broadcast are commonly recommended for people with Sensory Integration Dysfunction, autism, and a host of other illnesses that are often talked about in conjunction with ADD and ADHD -- hence the presence of the device at the CHADD show.

Safer didn't bother to discuss the science behind the diagnosis of adult ADD, nor did he talk at all about alternative therapies that don't involve prescribing medication. Instead, we're left with a sensationalistic story about another case of how the big, bad drug companies are feeding off public fear and insecurity.

As the parent of two kids with ADD/ADHD and the spouse of someone who's been diagnosed with it too, I don't have a lot of tolerance for people who don't think it's a "real" mental illness, or think that people are just trying to cop out of responsibility by blaming their disorganization on ADD or ADHD. I've had enough of those conversations to last a lifetime with people who are, by most other measures, rational, cogent and intelligent.

This is a real issue that creates real problems for its victims. For every success story about someone who's developed coping skills to handle their own ADD, they are countless examples of "underachievers" who never reach their full potential because they haven't received the medical treatment or mental health assistance they need.

There is a pervasive cultural attitude that unless you exhibit obvious outward, physical signs of illness, it has to be "in your head" and therefore, less real -- just ask any woman who's had a (usually male) OB/GYN scoff at them when they tell them how bad their PMS symptoms are. It's positively Victorian.

Safer's depiction of this as an attempt to simply create "a drug-riddled behavioral utopia" is patently irresponsible. I've seen how positive the results can be for the people in my own family who suffer from ADD/ADHD when you combine drug therapy, behavior modification and the assistance of a mental health professional.

No one is saying pills are the only answer, or the answer best-suited for everyone. But for some of us, they help to solve the problem, and they make life better.