Whoopie cushion
I took the kids to a video game arcade that had a number of games that dispense tickets redeemable for prizes. Together we had about 150 tickets, so I decided the most democratic thing was to allocate 50 tickets to each kid.
Each kid got one big gift that I think is very reflective of their personality, along with pieces of candy to make up the difference.
Robert got a small foam glider emblazoned with Spongebob Squarepants.
Emmeline got a fur-covered pen with a big pink feather on the end.
And James? James got a whoopie cushion.
Every few minutes this morning:
"Bob? Bob? I have something to tell you." *braa-aa-aaap* "Hee hee hee hee!"