Tikkabik

Halloween is usually this family's biggest holiday, and always has been -- our wedding anniversary is tomorrow, and Bonnie and I picked that date deliberately to be close to Halloween.

We decorate the house -- often quite elaborately -- and really get into the spirit of it. In years past we've used a digital projector on the wall of the living room to show Halloween movies when trick or treaters come to the door and usually set up a nice display in the shrubs outside the house to welcome trick or treaters.

This year has been an abject disappointment by any measure -- we just haven't gotten our acts together.

I blame our lack of focus on dealing with Robert's recent behavior at school and everything that's come out of it. Going to court, having to go back in November, talking to legal and social resources, and so on. It's been exhausting. And it's taken every spare ounce of our time.

When Bonnie and I have gone out to take care of holiday-related stuff, like picking up accessories for the kids' costumes or candy, we've both been angry and resentful about it, as if it's yet another imposition on our already stretched and strained time rather than something that's really fun to do. And that has, in turn, made me even more bitter and angry -- that instead of enjoy this time of year, we've been suffering through it.

I'm sorry, the last thing I want to do is turn this blog into another angsty adolescent monologue about how much my life sucks. There are already enough LiveJournals out there written by 14 year olds to last multiple lifetimes.

All told, 2005 has officially sucked. My annus horribilis, to borrow a phrase from the Queen. At this rate, I'm really looking forward to it being over.