Tikkabik

On Labor Day weekend we first noticed an alarming problem -- water on the inside wall of the foundation, coming out from around the house drain, or the pipe that carries waste water to the septic system.

This is not the sort of water you want in your basement. Not that you'd ordinarily want any water in your basement. But the outflow of toilets, bathtubs and sinks, especially.

Since we moved in I've had misgivings about that pipe. The area around the pipe had been patched at least once before, and it was a combination of hastily applied cement and foam insulation -- the kind that expands and hardens when it hits the air.

Anyway, it went quickly from just a damp spot on the wall to actual dripping -- enough that I needed to stick a bucket underneath the Y pipe at the house drain location in order to prevent it from pooling up on the floor (and behind the washing machine).

Last week and after a failed attempt with someone else, we were finally able to get a plumber to properly diagnose the problem: There was a long fissure in the PVC pipe that went from the house drain to the septic tank, which sits underground in our back yard. That pipe would be have to be replaced. As it turns out, the cost of the repair was relatively minor, but it was a major inconvenience to get to.

This is because some asshat who owned the house before us decided that it would be a grand idea to build a deck on the back of the house that rests atop the drain pipe. Now don't get me wrong, I like the deck. It wraps around from the driveway side of the house along about two thirds of the back of the house, and it was a selling point for me when we first took a tour. A nice, wide, long deck that's even been outfitted with low-wattage lighting along its perimeter.

Normally, those pipes last forever. This one didn't, and the plumber who replaced it explained that the septic tank itself had settled since its installation -- not surprising, as the ground underneath the house is nothing but sand (Cape Cod is just a giant sandbar). That changed the grade running from the house drain to the septic tank almost three quarters of an inch, and that was enough, over time, to cause that pipe to crack.

The plumber said the old pipe was a mess -- water had been seeping into the foundation for a while, apparently. It probably had first started whenever that half-assed patch was done, and had just been pooling up inside and outside the foundation since then.

So anyway, in order to actually get to the pipe, we had to have a guy come out, tear up about five feet of deck material, cut through three or four joists, then excavate a five foot square trench to expose the pipe.

It was shitty work, and I'm sorry we had to use this guy to do it. But better him than me.

Anyway, something to file away for my NEXT house -- make sure there's nothing blocking the house drain.