Tikkabik

I can reduce a $3000 desktop computer to its constituent components and reassemble them in a matter of minutes without any fear whatsoever that I'll break something. For that gift, I'll thank a pair of tech savvy adult role models my mom hooked me up with through the Jewish Big Brother/Big Sister program when I was a kid, and a friend or two along the way that exhibited no fear around electronics. But get me around a car, and I'm a frickin' gimp.

The van is acting up -- temperature is climbing a bit and the oil pressure is low. I know enough to check the oil, but I can't get the damn hood open.

That's right, I'm too retarded to even get the van's hood open.

In all fairness, I don't think it's my fault. The hood release works well enough, but the secondary hood release -- that latch you have to fiddle with under the hood after you spring the initial release -- seems welded shut.

I noticed the last time I checked the oil, more than a month ago now, that the secondary release was getting stiff, but didn't have any grease to lube it with. Because I'm not exactly mechanically inclined. Now it's either rusted in place, or there's just too much tension on the spring to let me open it.

Anti-static wrist straps, soldering irons and cans of compressed air I have in abundance. But grease and motor oil? That's what Midas is for. Speaking of which, I have an appointment this afternoon with my mechanic, hopefully to get this fixed.