Tikkabik

True story.

I bought a shirt a few years back. It's tan and has this hatchwork pattern on it, and these little grey fish and blue palm trees and orange chinese writing of some kind. It's cut like a hawaiian shirt, and it's comfortable, and I paid like $10 for it. You've seen me wear it at Macworld Expos, if you're the sort who hangs out with me at Macworld Expos.

Three years ago I was standing in line at the Moscone Center in San Francisco, with hundreds of other journalists waiting to cover Steve Jobs' inevitably thrilling keynote address to Macworld Expo throngs. You have to get up real early to get a good seat, and stand in line and wait. So I'm milling about and someone says, "Hey, nice shirt. What's the writing say?"

I'm like, "Thanks. I have no idea."

This friend of mine David looks at it and says, "Those fish look like penises. I bet it says something like, 'White man wears the penis-fish shirt.'"

We all laughed about it and went to talking about something else. But there hasn't been a single time I've worn the shirt since then that I haven't thought, "White man wears the penis-fish shirt."

So tonight I'm picking up some dinner at Tiki Hawaii, the Chinese restaurant up the street from the house. I'm wearing the penis-fish shirt. As he's ringing in my order, the guy says, "Hey, I like your shirt. You buy that in Chinatown? That's Chinese."

"You can read this? This actually says something?"

In truth, I'd always suspected it was just random characters or words thrown together, sort of like the Japlish t-shirts that kids in Japan have worn in the past.

"Yeah. It say 'Six six root.'"

I stared at him for a moment. What he said didn't quite parse.

"You know, route. Like, road," he said.

"Route 66. It says Route 66."

"You know, Chinese is a language with multiple layers and meanings sometime. Things don't always mean what the say. It's like French."

But I'd comprehended the meaning. I bought the shirt at K-Mart. Route 66 is a K-Mart house brand. It's on the label inside of the shirt. In English.