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Yeah, that

If you...

1. ...owned a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve?

Bacon. Duh.

2. ...owned a small store, what kind of merchandise would you sell?

Cleverly designed sex toys and obscure cooking implements.

3. ...wrote a book, what genre would it be?

Historical fiction/fantasy with a strong vein of animal husbandry.

4. ...ran a school, what would you teach?

Stunt car driving.

5. ...recorded an album, what kind of music would be on it?

Lullabies for orc children.