Tikkabik

"I need to know if that [software/hardware/service] you wrote about will work on my Mac," is a favorite e-mail of mine. I get it about two or three times a week, and that's usually all the e-mail says. No description of the product, no details about their computer, and absolutely no reference to the article in question beyond the passing comment that I wrote about it.

Here's the thing: I write dozens of articles every week. I rarely retain any more information than is absolutely necessary about any of them, and only then if the product or service pertains directly to an interest of mine. And even if I had an encyclopedic memory, you'd *have* to say more than "you wrote about [it]" to remind me of what we're talking about again. It's common sense, but it's also apparently beyond the scope of most people's ability to cogitate.

The worst part about this is that almost every single question that's sent this way is something that could be simply, succinctly answered if the querent had simply used Google or even MacCentral's own search engine; had bothered to click through to the product page or Web site of the product maker and had looked in their FAQ.

I'm left with the observation that to these people, it's infinitely easier to just e-mail someone and be spoon-fed than to do any more work than is absolutely necessary to answer your own question. Just like when I did systems management for a living, I have very little respect for these people. They're not just consumers -- they're livestock. It's bovine behavior: Make no more effort than is absolutely necessary to eat, crap and sleep.

My other favorite is when people ask me for help regarding a product I wrote about -- on their PC. Apparently my Mac-centric article and the fact that my e-mail address ends in "maccentral.com" isn't enough of a clue that I'm not a PC help desk.

I'll often get people who threaten to return the products I've sold them unless I can get them working, despite the fact that I haven't sold them a damn thing. Some people think we're resellers. Others send long-winded recitations about their experience with their Macs and expect us to do something, as if we're Apple. We're not being blind cc:'d on these things -- they're sending them directly to us, because they've seen our e-mail address some place, or they've visited the site and figure we're Apple.

Other folks send us these commands and directives: Research this obscure issue or use your sources at Apple to find out what's happening with this, or pull some strings to get this done.

Actually, it's rather flattering when people do this, implying we wield that sort of authority with Apple or anyone else, when in truth we're simply a couple of guys who work out of our basement offices. Sure, we can call people at Apple to ask questions and probably have an easier time getting answers to some questions or interviews with some people than lots of other online news sites do, but we have to wait in line just like everyone else, and don't have a magic hotline Batphone that rings at Steve Jobs' desk every time we need to get something done.

I don't necessarily want these people to all of a sudden stop using Macs and go away, however. Despite their strident tones and occasional bouts of self-righteous pontification, most of these folks are by and large good people who like Macs for the same reason I do. I am, unfortunately and usually unnecessarily, at the receiving end of their occasional abuse and confusion.

I just wish they'd think through before clicking on their e-mail "Send" button and make sure that they can't answer the question themselves before asking someone else to make the effort.

Well, everyone except the PC weenies. I wish they'd just go away.