Tikkabik

Andrew Orlowski has apparently gone totally off his meds, judging from his most recent psychotic ramblings posted by The Register.

Orlowski calls Sunday's Pepsi/iTunes Super Bowl an attempt to "exploit abused children." If you didn't see it, the short spot featured kids who have been accused or prosecuted by the RIAA for stealing copyrighted music. I find his comparison absolutely insulting.

These kids aren't abused or exploited -- the RIAA nailed them doing something wrong, dead to rights, and they're getting paid well by Pepsi for appearing in that ad -- in fact, one of them mentioned in an interview how she plans to use some of what she was paid to pay off her debt to the RIAA for stealing commercial music. How either the RIAA or Pepsi's machinations translate to abuse or exploitation is puzzling at best. What I find most offensive is Orlowski's careless use of language, which trivializes the serious issue of child abuse.

"The broadcast encourages children to buy as much teeth-rotting Pepsi soda as they can in the hope of finding a token that allows them to a free, DRM-infected piece of music," Orlowski froths.

Okay, first of all, the kids can suck down a 20-ounce Diet Pepsi if they prefer and stay away from potential tooth-rot. I won't even go near his baiting "DRM-infected" comment.

Then, in a totally incoherent twist, Orlowski uses the opportunity to start shrilly barking about CBS' decision not to sell MoveOn.org a 30-second spot to show an anti-Bush commercial, citing its policy not to sell ad space to advocacy groups -- something that MoveOn.org probably should have checked on before publicly announcing plans to buy air time during the Super Bowl.

"We're not sure what vacuum these arbiters of public taste live in," Orlowski spews.

Well, CBS lives in a world where they DON'T SELL AD SPACE TO SPECIAL INTEREST GROUPS. If MoveOn.org was selling something -- like, say SODA -- they'd be as entitled as the next company with 2.5 million dollars to blow for a thirty-second spot during the Super Bowl. As it is, they're not, and CBS quite within their rights told MoveOn.org to, well, move on.

So, just to summarize: According to Andrew Orlowski's leftist-ranting bullshit, Apple, CBS, Pepsi and the RIAA are all part of some "pigopoly" that seeks to poison us, take our money, and "reduce [our] personal freedoms."

I wish I could pay attention, but I'm too busy staring at Janet Jackson's breast to worry. Say, do we have any more Diet Pepsi in the fridge? Oh, look what just came in the e-mail: My receipt for that copy of Arepa 3000 by Los Amigos Invisibles I bought on the iTunes Music Store yesterday.

You know what they say, Andrew: As long as you're on the side of the fascists, it's the best kind of government to live under.