Why not just wear some finger-bone jewelery?
Okay, this definitely ranks as one of the worst ideas ever. At the very least, it's so morbid, it's chilling.
Memorial Gems purport to be "diamonds infused with the essence of your loved one." Essentially, these things are manufactured heirloom-quality diamonds (if I understand correctly) that incorporate a couple of grams of your Dear Departed within.
Apparently you can have carat weights anywhere from 1/4 to 2 carats ("Choose the carat weight that reflects your devotion," says the site ... "Gee, I really hated Aunt Esther. I guess I'll only get a 1/4 carat diamond with her inside ..."), and everything from the traditional round cut to the classified-as-a-deadly-weapon-in-13-states-style Marquise. You can even simulate colors ranging from sky blue to cognac. Have jaundiced old Uncle Martin preserved forever in a yellow round cut, to remind you that he died of liver failure!
The Web site is rife with banner art showing loving adult children clutching their graying elders lovingly while wearing the jewelry. Which makes me wonder -- who's on their fingers? The other parent? And why are these folks grabbing their parents like that? Is it to say, "All right, you wrinkly old fuck -- into the oven with you! I need a new set of earrings!"
The whole thing is just weird.
Comments
A competitor's site - http://www.lifegem.com/ - adds a new facet (pun intended), assuring us that "Yes, this is available for your PETS".
Sentiment aside, the person who created Memorial Gems touts it as "... much more affordable than a traditional burial with a moderately-priced wooden casket."
Come to think of it, maybe this isn't such a bad idea after all.
Posted by: CapeCoder | July 31, 2003 05:17 PM
A coworker of mine suggested there might be a cottage jewelry industry for serial killers if this keeps up.
"Just two more bodies and I can make a tennis bracelet!"
Posted by: Flargh | July 31, 2003 05:23 PM