Pudding BITES
When I cook pudding or gelatin, there's one part I really don't like -- the "skin:" that crusty, rubbery stuff that seems to form over the cups as they cool in the fridge. Apparently it's related to drying, because Bonnie taught me a while ago that if you apply plastic wrap to the tops of your bowls/cups/parfait glasses and thus keep the moisture in, skin won't form.
Now Kraft Foods, makers of Jell-o brand products, have come up with a snack for kids that is basically nothing BUT pudding skin. They're called Jell-o Pudding Bites, and they do indeed bite.
Basically, what Kraft's mad scientists have done is genetically mated fruit snacks with pudding. Inside the boxes you see above are six hermetically sealed foil bags, each with a handful of these Pudding Bites inside. And while they're unquestionably pudding-flavored -- vanilla, strawberry and chocolate -- the rubbery, semi-solid consistency is just all wrong.
I love how Kraft's marketing droids let you know that they're "Made with REAL Milk." I didn't realize that products made with PHONY milk were taking over our store shelves. Is this really a perfidious nutritional issue? And just who are these heretofore unknown purveyors of faux milk? Do they draw their product from the udders of artificial cows? Is congress aware? Are there hearings to study the problem? Is Al Qaeda involved?
And Pudding Bites are a "good source of calcium!" So is Tums. Which you'll need after you eat these foul, sweet-flavored quivering dollops of tallow.
Comments
my mom bought these for the kids, completely vile
Posted by: carol | May 30, 2003 02:58 PM
I was just browsing through google for pudding bites. I actually like them a little, but I have been trying to figure out why they dont REALLY taste like pudding.
thanks for breaking my little mystery. I'm a dork...
Posted by: deidre | June 16, 2003 04:46 PM
i absolutely LOVE pudding bites. Jell-O has done it again!
Posted by: Eugenio | July 18, 2003 10:53 AM
jello pudding bites are the most disgraceful things that has ever hit the stores. i find them very disturbing and i think they should be illegal to sell.
Posted by: Anonymous | August 22, 2003 11:17 AM
jello pudding bites are the most disgraceful things that have ever hit the stores. i find them very disturbing and i think they should be illegal to sell
Posted by: Shannon | August 22, 2003 11:20 AM
these little gobs of shit completely suck ass. whoever came up with this fuckin garbage should be shot and then hung and allowed to bleed to death. utter bullshit. : )
Posted by: alex | August 22, 2003 08:47 PM
And what is with this crap of only finding vanilla in a package that is supposed to have strawberry and vanilla in it? This is a complete rip-off. I'm telling someone about this shit!
Posted by: Mad Scientist | September 17, 2003 09:35 PM
ewww tastes like shit to me! they really suck and are really gross> they should be illegal.
Posted by: lauren | September 26, 2003 01:48 PM
my kids puked after they ate these things. i cant believe people actually sell these things. there shit and everyone knows it. it bull and im going to suew!!!!!!!!!!!ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Posted by: bobby fisher | September 26, 2003 01:50 PM
My kids love these. They are great snacks to take to ball games, pool, etc. where you may not have access to refrigeration or spoons. I am having a hard time finding them in my grocery stores now. I only hope that they haven't been discontinued
Posted by: Christi | September 30, 2003 02:06 PM
They suck!!!!
Posted by: puddingmaster | October 12, 2003 09:43 PM
I absolutely love Jello Pudding Bites, They're the bomb! I actually got to try them last summer after hearing the commercial. They actually are so tempting, I just can't get enough! Whoever thought of the statement that they're nothing but doodoo? That's just a bunch of messy rumors! The truth is, Messy Rumors Drool, Jello Pudding Bites Rule!
Posted by: Annabelle | January 9, 2004 02:43 AM
I absolutely love Jello Pudding Bites, They're the bomb! I actually got to try them last summer after hearing the commercial. The thing that made me laugh my head off was the part that says, "The great taste of Jello Pudding, in grabbable, Bouncy, chewy bites, you're gonna love!" They actually are so tempting, I just can't get enough! Me and Jello Pudding Bites go together as one, same thing with me and Shark Bites! Whoever thought of the statement that they taste like doodoo? That's just a bunch of messy rumors! The truth is, Messy Rumors Drool, Jello Pudding Bites Rule!
Posted by: Annabelle | January 9, 2004 02:58 AM
you people are dumbasses bitching about something you actually had the nerve to eat!!
I LOVE JellO, but i only like Pudding Bites. as for everyone else who's like "my kids puked", your fault for buying it, loser.
If you want to go bitch about something, eat a spoonful of wasabe and spout off--better yet, top it on a pudding bite and swallow!
Posted by: Brock | April 15, 2004 02:07 AM
I hate pudding bites. They taste like snot.
Posted by: Yasu | June 2, 2004 12:59 AM
Who thinks of this food shit!!!
Posted by: hjkl | June 13, 2004 10:18 PM
Pudding skin is the best! I'm not joking! There is absolutely no point in eating pudding unless there is a skin on it. If you use whole milk, the skin is super thick. I just ate 8 cups of it and I can't get enough, that was...until Kraft started making pudding skins! Now I don't have to cook or worry about making them with whole milk! You need to pop about 8 to 12 of them in your mouth at one time. Close your eyes and bite down and chew rapidly. Don't swallow until you reached a creamy thick consistency. After that, swallow and you would swear that you were 10 again and your mom just made a fresh batch of pudding and it's sitting in clear glass dishes with that beautiful skin just waiting to get cold!
Some things in life were meant to be enjoyed and this is one of them!
Posted by: Analoxide | September 11, 2004 10:23 PM