Tikkabik

Due to better self-control than I have and the ability to metabolize Slim-Fast meal shakes without getting violently sick, Bonnie has already managed to drop most of the weight that she wants to lose, while I'm left wallowing in self-pity and self-loathing at my corpulent, flabby condition.

Anyway, Bonnie's big goal is now strength training -- she wants to tone and firm herself, which I consider an admirable and eminently achievable goal, for her at least -- provided, of course, she doesn't become freakishly large as a result. Neither of us really want to deal with the social or logistical nightmare afforded by local health clubs, so we opted to buy a home gym instead. We got a great deal on a Weider system at Sears yesterday, and brought it home.

The strapping young men at the Sears Warehouse got it in the van without any problem, but getting the gym inside was another story. Bonnie's not supposed to lift anything heavy, according to her doctor (and yes, there is a different between strength training and lifting weights), and our neighbor, who in better days might have helped, can't do that sort of thing. So here I am, coughing up lungers the consistency of oysters, in pouring rain, trying to drag a 110 pound box out of the back of the van and up the porch steps to the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes I managed to get the box in the door, grunting and heaving, panting uncontrollably. I think I collapsed on the bed afterwards and took a nap.

Maybe I'll end up using the Weider gym too. Once I figure out a way to get it down the stairs and set it up, that is.