How are you?
The generic greeting. It's used millions of times a day by english-speaking people all over the world, an informal introduction. A way of breaking the ice. Not something that merits a lot of overt thought or effort.
Now, I don't encourage people to answer the question disingenuously, but the bottom line is that within our normal social context, the question is a trifle ... a social construct intended to pave the way to more meaningful conversation and exchange of ideas. Unfortunately, I have this friend that doesn't play by the rules.
"I'm surviving."
That's her answer.
And it's not just "surviving." It's "surrrviiiiving."
It's a plea for sympathy. A provocation. An attempt to garner attention. And boy, does it piss me off.
From the outset, her tone is like caterwauling. "Feel sorry for me," the tone pleads, "because my life is so much worse than yours."
And indeed, if you exhibit any weakness in your conversation with her, you'll find her problems compound and outclass yours at every step of the way. The funny thing is, it's just a character trait that irritates me -- otherwise she's a good person and a loyal friend. It's just one of those things that I react to like nails on a chalkboard.
Comments
The question bothers me more than the answer. The one I loathe is "How goes the battle?". It's the individually-wrapped, processed-cheese slice of questions. It's the Pepsi One of questions. It's the Radio Shack of questions. It instantly hits my "Homocide" switch. When someone asks me "How goes the battle?", I usually reply "Your mother sucks cocks in hell". It's not usually well-received but it does snap us out of that feeling of rehearsed line delivery.
Posted by: Corey | January 30, 2003 02:35 AM
Next time you ask me, "How goes the battle," I'll tell you, "Surrrviiiiving."
Posted by: Peter Cohen | January 30, 2003 07:08 AM